Hundred Second Theater: A Day in the Life of a Kuiper Belt Object
Paul Knierim
2022
100 seconds
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Elmer - An old man living a boring repetitive life and fed up with it.

Fibbius - An old man living a boring repetitive life but fine with it.

Wife - Elmer's wife, an old woman living a boring repetitive life but fine with it.

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SFX: yawn, getting up, footsteps, shower, watering plant, clamor of breakfast

Wife: [casually] You're up 20 minutes late, dear. Fibbius is on the porch reading the paper.

Elmer: Thanks, dear.

SFX: footsteps exiting door, into sunny day nature sounds, transitioning to footsteps on wood then sound of sitting in rocking chair

Fibbius: [cheerily] 'Morning, Elmer.

Elmer: [suddenly, with an edge of desperation] Come to Jupiter with me, Fib.

Fibbius: [in a bored way] Pardon?

Elmer: Maybe even Mercury. Think of the adventure, exploring the unknown.

Fibbius: [in a bored way] Pardon?

Elmer: I don't care if we fall into the sun. I don't care if we get burned. I don't even care if we get flung off into the void, because at least it would be final. It would mean something.

Fibbius: [stating rather than asking, with a little sigh of annoyance] Pardon.

SFX: Fib turning page of newspaper, taking whiff of cigarette

Elmer: We have to get out of here! We have to stop repeating the same day over and over again! We have to do something drastic, before it's too late for us. I can't do it alone. Help me please.

SFX: a moment's pause

Fibbius: No more pardons.

SFX: Fib sets down paper, takes feet off railing, stands up opens door and walks inside

Elmer: [calling after him, frowning] You left your paper!