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Beezer's Cellar

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Posted Jul 07, 2002 - 6:04 PM:

Ernest Chappell: Quiet Please… Quiet Please (Theme in) Announcer: The Mutual Broadcast system presents Quiet Please, which is written and directed by Wyllis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell. Quiet Please for tonight is called "Beezer's Cellar" (Theme out)

STANLEY:
I looked at Marlana, Marlana looked at me when we heard this old guy talkin about Beezer's cellar. "Get a load of this Marlana." I said, and she picked up a french fry, and ate it very quiet while we listened to the old guy. He was sounding off to another old guy, and the other old guy couldn't get a word in edgeways

OLD MAN:
... so this here Beezer, they called him 6 fingered Beezer, you see, on account of he had 6 fingers on each hand. He never did build his house. He got the cellar dug, an then he up an hung himself in it. Well, I don't know why rightly, but there was some talk about the cellar being dug into accursed ground. Well I wanna tell you there's been mighty odd doin's up there by george, up at Beezer's cellar. What? Well, Fires! And lights at night. And don't you tell me fox-fire. I've seen fox -fire and I know it when I see it! And this here ain't fox-fire! Hmmm? 60 odd years ago. An moans , an hootin , an hollerin all over the place at night. An trees movin their branches when there ain't no wind. No , sir, that's a real deserted place. You couldn't get me up there with a ten foot pole. That there place is haunted sonny. I want another root beer, no sir, ghosts an spirits, an crawlin things that hoot an holler ain't in my line at all

STANLEY:
You gettin that, Marlana?

OLD MAN::
Gosh, no. Ain't been up there since I was a kid in short pants. A click of us went up there one afternoon in the fall, and we thought we seen a skeleton layin down there on the floor of the cellar and we cut an run. Never stopped till we got to the C&A tracks. Yes sir, sonny, thank you for the root beer, that there's a place to shun! And by golly people shun it! Well, it's right out past the cemetery. Where you turn off to Strickfaden Road. But it would take quiet a lot of finding. Bout 3 mile east. There's a big el-m tree that was struck by lightning... (old man still talking trails, off as STANLEY INTERRUPTS)

STANLEY:
C'mon Marlana I said. We sorta, drifted out a the place. The car was parked up under a big tree by the side of the road. Pete was sittin there with a p-38 pistol he brought back from the war, with his feet on the suitcase with the $82,000. We stopped to count it on the side street in Wilmington on the way down from Chicago. We watched the state cops go on past us down 66. Then we switched the licence plates, and jogged down after them. Pete wasn't takin any chances, he had the snoot of that p-38 in our faces the minute we walked up.

PETE: You oughta make some kinda noise or something. Mighta let you have it .

STANLEY: Put the gun away for a minute and move over.
(car door opens and closes)
Get in Marlana.

PETE:
You bring me a sandwich?

MARLANA:
Barbequed pork alright? (Marlana speaks with a heavy Russian accent)

PETE:
I could eat it raw! What's cookin?

MARLANA:
Stanley's got an idea.

PETE:
What now?

MARLANA:
You scared of ghosts, Pete?

PETE:
I ain't scared of anything!

STANLEY:
Well that's good!
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Posted Jul 08, 2002 - 1:02 AM:

Pete: What's this about ghosts?

Stanley: We might run into a couple of 'em, where we're goin'.

Marlena: An old man with six fingers on each hand.

Pete: Who, a cop?

Stanley: He hanged himself sixty years ago.

Pete: What is this all this double talk?

Stanley: Quiet hollering and eat your sandwich.

Pete: Listen, what are you figurein' on?

Stanley: I found a place to leave the bag with the money for a while, while things cool off.

Marlena: Leave the bag?!

Stanley: What did you think I was gonna do?

Marlena: In that cellar?

Pete: What cellar?

Marlena: Stanley, are you crazy?

Pete: Listen, how'd ya like to let me in on this, huh?

Stanley: Listen, this is a haunted cellar, see... [cut off]

Marlena: Pete!

Stanley: The old man says nobody ever goes there, they're scared to go there.

Marlena: So am I.

Stanley: Oh, can up Marlena, there ain't anything to be scared of.

Marlena: Only ghosts.

[time - 5:10]
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Posted Nov 08, 2003 - 10:50 PM:


Okay, here's an attempt to finish up the "Beezer's Cellar" transcript:


CHAPPELL: Quiet, please.

(SEVEN SECONDS' SILENCE)

CHAPPELL: Quiet, please.

(MUSIC ... THEME ... FADE FOR)

ANNOUNCER: The American Broadcasting Company presents "Quiet, Please!" which is written and directed by Wyllis Cooper, and which features Ernest Chappell. "Quiet, Please!" for today is called "Beezer's Cellar."

(MUSIC ... THEME ... END)

STANLEY: I looked at Marlene.

Marlene looked at me when we heard this old guy talkin' about Beezer's cellar.

"Get a load of this, Marlene," I said.

And she picked up a french fry and ate it very quiet - while we listened to the old guy.

He was soundin' off to another old guy.

And the other old guy couldn't get a word in edgeways.

OLD MAN: ... so this here Beezer -- they always called him "Six-Fingered Beezer," see, on account of he had six fingers on each hand -- he never did build his house. He got the cellar dug, an' then he up an' hung himself in it.

Well, I don't know why, rightly, but they was some talk about the cellar bein' dug into accursed ground. Well, I wanna tell you they's been mighty odd doin's up there, by george, up at Beezer's cellar.

What? Well, fires. And lights at night. And don't you tell me fox fire! I've seen fox fire and I know it when I see it! And this here ain't fox fire!

Hmmm? Sixty-odd years ago. And moans, and hootin', and hollerin' all over the place at night. And trees a-wavin' their branches when they ain't no wind. No, sir, that's a real deserted place. You couldn't get me up there with a ten foot pole. That there place is haunted, sonny. I want another root beer.

No, sir. Ghosts an' spirits an' crawlin' things that hoot an' holler, they ain't in my line at all--

STANLEY: You gettin' that, Marlene?

OLD MAN: Gosh, no. Ain't been up there since I was a kid in short pants. A clique of us went up there one afternoon in the fall, and we thought we seen a skeleton layin' down there on the floor of the cellar and we cut an' run. Never stopped till we got to the C & A tracks. Yes, sir, sonny. Uh, thank you fer the root beer. That there's a place to shun! And, by golly, people shun it!

Well, it's right out past the cemetery. Where you turn off to Strickfadden Road. But it'd take quite a lot of findin'. 'Bout three mile east. There's a big elem tree that was struck by lightning. But I wouldn't be caught dead there for all the treasures in the universe.

STANLEY: (overlaps last sentence) "C'mon, Marlene," I said. We sorta drifted out o' the place. The car was parked up under a big tree by the side of the road. Pete was sittin' there with a P-38 pistol he brought back from the war, with his feet on the suitcase with the eighty-two thousand dollars. We stopped to count it on the side street in Wilmington on the way down from Chicago. We watched the state cops go on past us down 66. Then we switched the license plates an' jogged on after 'em. Pete wasn't takin' any chances - he had the snoot of that P-38 in our faces the minute we walked up.

PETE: You, uh, oughta make some kinda noise or somethin'. Mighta let you have it.

STANLEY: Put the gun away for a minute. Move over.

SOUND: (Car doors OPEN and CLOSE under followingsmiling face

STANLEY: Get in, Marlene.

PETE: You bring me a sandwich?

MARLENE: (heavy accent) Barbecued pork all right?

PETE: Yeah, could eat it raw! What's cookin'?

MARLENE: Stanley's got an idea.

PETE: What now?

MARLENE: You scared of ghosts, Pete?

PETE: I ain't scared of anything!

STANLEY: Well, that's good.

PETE: What's this about ghosts?

STANLEY: We might run into a couple of 'em - where we're goin'.

MARLENE: An old man with six fingers on each hand.

PETE: Who? A cop?

STANLEY: He hanged himself sixty years ago.

PETE: What is all this double talk?

STANLEY: Quit hollerin' and eat your sandwich.

PETE: Listen, what are you figurin' on?

STANLEY: I found a place to leave the bag with the money for a while -- while things cool off.

MARLENE: Leave the bag?!

STANLEY: What'd ya think I was gonna do?

MARLENE: In that cellar?

PETE: What cellar?

MARLENE: Stanley, are you crazy?

PETE: Listen, how'd ya like to let me in on this, huh?

STANLEY: Listen, this is a haunted cellar, see--

MARLENE: Pete!

STANLEY: The old man says nobody ever goes there, they're - they're scared to go there.

MARLENE: So am I.

STANLEY: Oh, can it, Marlene, there ain't anything to be scared of.

MARLENE: Only ghosts.

STANLEY: Well... We could always go ridin' around the countryside, if you wanna, askin' some hick cop to take us-- Ah, that's always the way with you amateurs.

PETE: I'm no amateur. I shot the guys, didn't I?

STANLEY: Who told you to shoot? Who told you which ones to shoot?

PETE: Well, what're you beefin' about? I didn't say anything.

MARLENE: Well, I wish I'd never got into this.

STANLEY: For a nice chunk of eighty-two thousand dollars, you wish that?

MARLENE: Well ... Do we have to do it this way, Stanley?

STANLEY: You think of a better way?

PETE: Where is this place?

STANLEY: Few miles from here.

PETE: What are we waitin' for?

STANLEY: That's mah boy.

MARLENE: Oh, we won't have to stay long, then, will we, Stanley?

STANLEY: Why, listen, baby, you think I'd go there at all if I didn't have a hot suitcase to take care of?

MARLENE: We'll leave right away?

PETE: I will. Heh!

STANLEY: (pointedly) We all will. Whether old "Six Fingers" shows up to scare us or not.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT)

MARLENE: Don't, Stanley.

PETE: Which way, Stan?

STANLEY: Well ... the old fella said somethin' about a road, uh--

MARLENE: Strickfadden Road.

PETE: Well, don't look now but the reason I was askin' is, there's a motorcycle comin' down the road back there.

STANLEY: Where?

PETE: And I was just kind of interested in our next move. Not that I haven't got ideas of my own.

STANLEY: Now, put that gun away.

PETE: I was only gonna ask him a question.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT)

STANLEY: But Pete didn't have to ask him a question. Marlene stepped out of the car and she walked right up to the man in the blue suit and she said, (imitates Marlene's accent) "How do I get to Strickfadden Road, Officer?"

And the officer told her just as polite as a headwaiter. (chuckles) He'd've been awful surprised if he'd known what was pointing at him while he was bein' so nice to the cute little redhead.

Yeah, what he don't know won't hurt him, I always say. And we relaxed.

Well, so we found the road all right. We drove along slow. Little old Model A Ford with Indiana license plates. And we were pretty quiet.

I don't know what Pete was thinkin' about - or Marlene - but - I know what I was thinkin' about:

Trees hangin' low over the road.

Trees that moved their branches when there wasn't any wind.

And lights in the night that wasn't fox fire.

Er, whatever fox fire is.

And pretty soon there was a great big ol' elem tree alongside the road and it looked as if it had been struck by lightning. So we stopped.

And there wasn't any trees wavin' their branches or any funny noises. But we found Beezer's cellar.

(sighs) I wish we hadn't.

(MUSIC IN AND UNDER)

STANLEY: There was the elem tree that was struck by lightning. There was a fence that we busted down. There was a kind of path. Or it had been a path once. It was all I could do in the dark to bust my way through the underbrush with a flashlight.

(chuckles) And Marlene and Pete waitin' in the car, ready to go into a smoochin' act if an inquisitive cop pulled up. (chuckles) Smooching - with a Heinie pistol aimed under his arm over the side of the car.

It was a lot easier getting the eighty-two thousand dollars than it was crawling through the bushes looking for Beezer's cellar. I pretty near fell into it.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

It didn't smell very good. There was water in spots in the bottom. And it looked haunted enough. Kinda felt my back hair comin' up but I said, Ahhh, well, it's better than one of these little iron rooms they got down Stateville. And I went back after Pete and Marlene.

We run the car off the road, hopin' nobody'd see it. We lugged the suitcase back through the underbrush. I jumped down. Pete and Marlene climbed down after me.

(to Pete and Marlene) Good deal, huh?

PETE: Looks haunted, all right.

MARLENE: I don't like this, Stanley.

STANLEY: Well, let's stash the bag and get out o' here.

PETE: How ya gonna do it?

STANLEY: Well, dig a hole, jerk, and bury it.

PETE: What with?

STANLEY: Well, didn't ya--? (sighs) Oh, for--

MARLENE: Oh, wait a minute, Stanley. I see something over there against the wall.

PETE: Flash the light.

MARLENE: (off) I thought I saw it when I climbed down.

STANLEY: Huh! A shovel.

PETE: Huh. Ain't that convenient?

STANLEY: (ironic) Maybe the ghosts left it here.

PETE: Cut that out.

STANLEY: (laughs, mock ominous) Scare ya, kid?

PETE: Aw, cut it out.

STANLEY: Heh. Yeah, thanks, Marlene. Er, hold the light, Pete. Ah, no, turn it out. Quick! There's a car comin'. (after a pause, quietly) Okay.

SOUND: (Shovel CLANGS on cellar floor.)

PETE: Have to make so much noise?

STANLEY: You wanta dig? I'll hold the light.

PETE: Wait.

STANLEY: What's the matter?

PETE: (hushed) Shut up. (after a pause) Thought I heard somebody.

STANLEY: (sighs) Go on, dig.

PETE: Eh ...

SOUND: (Pete takes shovel, CLANGS it on cellar floor.)

PETE: Pick up the bricks.

STANLEY: (bending) Okay.

SOUND: (Bricks PICKED UP and PILED.)

MARLENE: Let me hold the light and you can both dig. We'll get out of here quicker.

STANLEY: Okay. (beat) Boo!

MARLENE: (gasps) Don't do that, Stanley!

STANLEY: (laughs at her) Ah, nobody gonna hurt ya, kid.

MARLENE: No, but--

STANLEY: Here, come back with that light.

PETE: Come on, let's stop kiddin' around.

MARLENE: I'm going to sit down.

PETE: You'll get all wet.

MARLENE: No, there's an old busted chair here.

PETE: Oh, for the love of--

MARLENE: All right, all right. (sits, exhales contentedly) There!

STANLEY: Yeah, now, let's go--

MARLENE: (gasps loudly)

STANLEY: Now what's the matter?

MARLENE: (disturbed) Stanley ... you didn't sit in this chair, did you?

STANLEY: You kiddin'?

MARLENE: Pete?

PETE: What's the matter?

MARLENE: Somebody's been sittin' in it! The seat's still warm!

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: And she dropped the flashlight. And it rolled down into the hole we'd been diggin'. The light went bouncing down and down and down and down -- hundreds of feet. We could watch it twisting and turning and lighting up the sides of a deep smooth shaft that seemed to have no bottom at all.

Ah, there we were in the dark down in Beezer's cellar. The darkness pushing down on us. There was a sound somewhere, way far off that seemed to come up to us from the bottomless pit we had opened.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: And I swore.

I lit a match.

Pete and Marlene were leaning over the edge of the hole.

(MUSIC OUT)

STANLEY: Marlene jumped back and she started screaming.

MARLENE: (screams, speaks frantically and incoherently)

STANLEY: And she wouldn't stop till I slapped her face a couple o' times. I said, "Cut it out! You want all the cops in the state to come runnin'?"

MARLENE: (sobs)

STANLEY: She grabbed me by the arm, she was yammerin' like a baby.

MARLENE: I saw it! It was looking right at me! I saw its eyes! (sobs)

STANLEY: She passed out cold. Only the quick grab that Pete made kept her from falling right down the hole.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: Well, Pete and I slapped some of the dirty water in her face. Pretty soon she sat up. She started to cry.

MARLENE: (sobs continuously under the following)

STANLEY: And it started to rain. "Look," Pete said...

PETE: Look, I don't go for this, Stanley.

STANLEY: (contemptuous) Scared o' ghosts.

PETE: Aw, nuts. There's no ghosts! But I think we can find a better place to bury our dough than Mister Beezer's cellar.

MARLENE: Let's get out of here, please! Let's get out of here!

PETE: Cut it out, Marlene.

MARLENE: No, no! Let's get out of here. I tell you, I saw--

STANLEY: (harshly) You saw a reflection of the match down this old well.

PETE: Well! Sure, that's what it is. That's a well. Some of these old houses had a well right in the center. I - I remember it from when I was a kid. And we busted into the well.

MARLENE: I saw eyes looking at me!

STANLEY: (annoyed) Cut it out! You didn't, either.

PETE: We'd've been in a swell fix if we dropped the suitcase down the well.

STANLEY: Yeah, I'll say we would.

MARLENE: (still sobbing)

STANLEY: Ah, let's dig another hole.

MARLENE: (sobs louder)

STANLEY: Shut up, Marlene.

PETE: Let's get out o' this. I'm gettin' soaked.

MARLENE: Yes! Let's get out of here, Stanley!

STANLEY: Go on, you two, if you wanna. I'm gonna get this suitcase planted.

MARLENE: Come on, Pete.

PETE: (to Marlene) Yeah. (after a pause) Hurry up, Stanley.

STANLEY: I'll hurry.

SOUND: (Stanley DIGS with shovel.)

(MUSIC OUT)

PETE: (to Marlene, off) Wish you hadn't dropped that light.

MARLENE: (with Pete, off) Oh, Pete, Pete, I'm scared.

PETE: All right, all right. Cut it out.

MARLENE: Hurry!

STANLEY: (closer) Don't make so much noise!

SOUND: (Stanley BANGS away with shovel.)

PETE: All right, I'll - I'll boost you up first.

SOUND: (SHOVELING continues under as Pete BOOSTS Marlene.)

MARLENE: I - I cannot - can't get up here, Pete. This isn't the place.

PETE: Well... Wait, I'll light a match. (after a beat) Oh. We're on the other side, I guess.

STANLEY: (annoyed, still shoveling) What's the matter?

PETE: I can't find the place where we climbed down.

MARLENE: Oh, over this way. (after a pause) No.

PETE: This side.

MARLENE: No, that way. (pause) Pete?!

PETE: Yeah?

MARLENE: What's the matter?

PETE: Wait. (closer) Say, you know something, Stanley?

STANLEY: Huh? Know what?

PETE: Something's happened.

MARLENE: (joins them) What are you whispering about?

PETE: Listen, Stanley, I - I been all around the walls o' this place and that busted place in the wall where we came down ain't there any more.

MARLENE: Pete!

STANLEY: What are you talk--?

PETE: I'm tellin' you, Stanley. Light a match and look for yourself.

STANLEY: And I struck a match.

And I shielded it carefully in my hands.

And I looked around the walls of Beezer's cellar in the drizzling rain.

And you know what?

There wasn't any way out of that place that I could see.

The walls, all four of 'em, were just smooth as glass.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: And from way, way down deep in the earth I could just see a little bitty gleam from that flashlight.

And I thought to myself, "I - I see what Marlene meant. It - it does look like eyes, now don't it?"

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: Down at the bottom of a musty old cellar in the middle of the night an' a hole in the floor that goes down I haven't got any idea how far. And rain. And a hysterical woman. And a suitcase with eighty-two thousand dollars.

MARLENE: (sobs in the background)

STANLEY: And no way to get out of the place.

Great, huh?

Well, you can explain anything, can't ya?

The hole in the floor? Sure, that was a well.

The eyes she thought she saw? Sure, that was the flashlight reflecting on the water down there.

And the way we couldn't get out? Well ... maybe the wall wasn't as busted down as I thought it was when we got into the place. Maybe we didn't notice how smooth the walls was.

(MUSIC OUT)

PETE: Yeah. Sure. And how you gonna explain that chair seat bein' warm when Marlene sat down on it?

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN OUT)

STANLEY: (amused) Yeah. That's right, Pete.

MARLENE: I didn't want to come here in the first place. And those eyes scared the life out of me!

STANLEY: There's no such thing as ghosts.

PETE: You picked a swell time to make a statement like that, boy.

STANLEY: Well, there ain't.

MARLENE: Maybe there is no ghosts - but there are other things.

STANLEY: Like what?

MARLENE: I don't know. Like things that come up out of the ground.

PETE: Oh, cut it out.

STANLEY: Gimme a cigarette, Pete.

PETE: We gonna sit here all night in the rain?

STANLEY: What'll I do? Fly out o' here or somethin'? (beat) Gimme a match.

PETE: Wait, I'll spit for ya. Here.

MARLENE: Let's get out of here!

STANLEY: (sighs, exhales, calm and decisive) Wait till morning. We'll find a way out then.

PETE: I wonder if we could reach the top o' that wall if we stood on that chair.

STANLEY: Well, I don't know.

MARLENE: You couldn't get me to touch that chair for a million dollars. It WAS warm!

STANLEY: Ahhh, that don't signify nothin'.

MARLENE: It does to me.

PETE: What about the suitcase?

STANLEY: What?

PETE: What'd you do with it?

STANLEY: I'm sittin' on it.

PETE: (ironic) Is it warm?

STANLEY: (matching his irony) Hot as a pistol.

MARLENE: Oh, cut it out, will ya?

STANLEY: Cut it out.

MARLENE: I'm scared.

PETE: Look, babe, I don't like this any too well, either.

MARLENE: Then sit close to me, please. I'm cold.

PETE: Move over this way.

STANLEY: Well ... don't worry, kids. In another couple o' months, we'll come back and pick up our little prize package here. We'll be warm for life. All of us.

PETE: If we ever get out of here.

STANLEY: Ahhh, come on.

SOUND: (Something SLIDES and CRASHES.)

MARLENE: (shrieks) What was that?!

STANLEY: You do that, Pete?

PETE: No. What was it?

STANLEY: I don't know.

MARLENE: Stanley...

PETE: Oh, wait a minute, Stanley. I think I know what it was.

STANLEY: What?

PETE: Wait.

SOUND: (Pete RISES and WALKS off.)

PETE: Stan?

STANLEY: What?

PETE: Come here. Careful now.

SOUND: (Stanley RISES and WALKS toward Pete.)

STANLEY: In the damp darkness, I moved toward the sound of Pete's voice. He stuck my hand and put it on the edge of the hole I dug.

PETE: See?

STANLEY: What?

PETE: A couple o' bricks fell in the hole.

STANLEY: (understands, relieved) Ohhh.

SOUND: (A brick SLIDES and CRASHES.)

STANLEY: Marlene, get back from the edge.

MARLENE: What is it?

STANLEY: Move back, honey.

MARLENE: Oh, Stanley...

PETE: Light a match, Stanley.

STANLEY: You got 'em. You light one.

PETE: All right. Stand back a little.

SOUND: (Match STRIKES.)

STANLEY: And in the light from the match before it fizzled out in the rain, I saw what had made the sound. Two or three bricks had got loosened at the edge of the hole I dug and fallen in. And as I looked before the match went out, two more sagged and fell downward into that bottomless pit. "Get back, Marlene!" I yelled. Pete lit another match.

PETE: Look out!

STANLEY: A crack yawned open and, with a crash, a half a dozen more bricks tumbled into the hole.

Below us, I could see the feeble glow of the flashlight way down there. Seemed to me that things crawled far, far below us in that horrible pit.

Pete and I dragged Marlene away to the wall. There was a rumble. The mouth of the pit grew bigger.

Seemed that the glow from down there was growing stronger. We sat there, huddled against the slippery walls, frozen cold with terror. Another section of the floor fell in.

PETE: The whole floor's goin'! Come on, we gotta get out!

STANLEY: Marlene sobbing and Pete and I scrambling at the slippery walls. There wasn't a chance.

And the rumbling stopped for a second. We flattened ourselves against the bricks. In the light that came up from down there, I could see Pete's staring eyes and the tears of fright shining on Marlene's cheeks. I said, "We gotta get out of here!"

MARLENE: Oh, Stanley!

PETE: Help me up the wall, Stanley.

OLD MAN: (from above) 'Tain't no use to try, boys! You can't get out!

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: And I looked up.

And there -- sitting comfortably on the edge of the cellar wall, grinning at us in the light that flowed up from the pit in the cellar floor -- was the old man Marlene and I had heard at the roadside restaurant. The old man who told the lurid story about Beezer's cellar.

OLD MAN: 'Tain't no use to try. You're stuck.

MARLENE: Oh, help! Help!

OLD MAN: Don't hoot an' holler, lady.

STANLEY: Look, old man, give us a hand, will you?

OLD MAN: I heard tell of a feller, long time ago, that got down into this here cellar. Just like you done.

PETE: Give us a hand! The floor's goin'!

OLD MAN: I know. The floor fell in with him, too.

PETE: Well, help us!

OLD MAN: He killed a feller down towards Manito. And he come and hid here in the cellar.

STANLEY: Give us a hand out o' here!

OLD MAN: And the same thing happened to him. Never did find his body.

SOUND: (More of the floor CRASHES away.)

MARLENE: (shrieks and sobs)

OLD MAN: More floor fallin' in, hey?

STANLEY: Come on, give us a hand up out of here! Help us!

MARLENE: Please! Please!

OLD MAN: Know what's down there? Fire and destruction.

PETE: Listen, old man!

OLD MAN: Tut, boy! You know you hadn't ought to shot that poor feller at the bank up there in Chicago. Murder's bad.

STANLEY: (calmly tries to strike a deal) Listen, we got a lot of money down here with us.

OLD MAN: I know it. You're criminals.

STANLEY: Uh, we'll - we'll split it with ya.

OLD MAN: Don't want no part of stolen money, bub.

MARLENE: Oh, help us!

OLD MAN: 'T'ain't much floor left, is there? They'll never find your bodies.

PETE: Now, listen, you old--!

OLD MAN: Now, don't call names, bub.

STANLEY: Pete! Put that pistol down!

SOUND: (Pete FIRES a shot)

OLD MAN: That won't do you no good, son. Too bad.

STANLEY: Listen, mister. For-- For the-- Look, there's a woman down here.

PETE: Yeah!

OLD MAN: Criminal. Like you two boys.

STANLEY: Ah, but, look-- Look out, Marlene.

MARLENE: Oh, Stanley! There isn't any place left to stand!

PETE: Here, Marlene!

OLD MAN: Kinda figured you was listenin' to me back there at Sol Weather's stand. Kinda figured you'd come a-kitin' out here to the cellar.

MARLENE: (shrieks and sobs loudly)

STANLEY: Mister, listen to reason. Please, just reach down and give us a hand.

OLD MAN: Kinda figured I'd come along and watch and see what'd happen to ya. (beat) Mighty interestin'.

PETE: Oh ho, if I could get my hands on you!

OLD MAN: You can't. Not 'less I let you.

MARLENE: You can't do this to us! We are people! We are-- Help! Please, mister, I beg you!

OLD MAN: No, lady. No use a-hollerin'. The wages of sin is death, I always say. You robbed. And ya murdered. So you got to be punished. See?

STANLEY: You can't sit there and watch us die!

OLD MAN: Another hunk of the floor is goin'. You'd better move off to one side.

PETE: I'm gonna get that old--!

STANLEY: (to Pete) Uh uh!

OLD MAN: Put down your pistol, sonny.

PETE: I'll get him!

OLD MAN: I told you 'tain't no use.

MARLENE: Please! Pete, don't, don't!

PETE: Get off me! Get off me!

STANLEY: (calm and cool) Listen, Sheriff, I, uh--

OLD MAN: I ain't no sheriff. I'm just a feller interested in seein' justice done. I recognized ya back there at the restaurant. And I thought to myself, I thought, Well, I'll just toll these people here over to the cellar. And we'll leave things take their course.

STANLEY: Look out, Marlene.

MARLENE: Oh, help!

STANLEY: Haven't you any pity, man?!

OLD MAN: Not much! Not much for thieves and murderers.

PETE: (quietly, to Stanley) He's crazy, Stanley. There's an insane asylum across the river there someplace. He's escaped from there.

OLD MAN: No, son. I ain't insane. Listen. What would you give to get out o' there?

STANLEY: You - you can have half the money.

OLD MAN: Ain't much time for bargainin'.

MARLENE: Give it all to him, Stanley!

OLD MAN: That's better. You ought to be willin' to give up all the money to save your lives.

MARLENE: Oh, yes, yes, yes!

OLD MAN: If I was in a fix like that, I'd give anything I got.

PETE: Well, we won't!

MARLENE: Yes, we will!

OLD MAN: Floor gettin' hot down there? Mighty interestin'. (beat) Well?

STANLEY: (desperate) All right. You can have all the money. Help us out!

PETE: Oh, no, you don't, Stanley.

OLD MAN: Hand it up.

PETE: Stanley, how do we know he'll help us? Wait, don't give it to him!

STANLEY: (to the old man) Take it! Quick!

PETE: No! No! No! No!

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN UNDER)

STANLEY: And Pete leaped at the suitcase I was handing up to the old man.

His fingers just touched the edge of the bag -- when another section of floor gave way right under him.

He fell down and down and down and down, twisting and turning, into the fire that kept coming higher and higher up the shaft, reaching for us.

And the old man took the bag and set it down on the edge of the cellar.

OLD MAN: See? That might've been you, fella! Or you, lady.

STANLEY: Help us out of here!

OLD MAN: It's good riddance. He was the one that shot the fellers at the bank up in Chicago. Good riddance, I always say.

STANLEY: Are you going to help--?!

OLD MAN: Sure. Sure. Right in the nick o' time. Here! Grab a hold of my hand, lady.

MARLENE: I'm afraid.

OLD MAN: Up ya come, lady. Boost her, mister.

SOUND: (Stanley grunts, Marlene sobs)

OLD MAN: (to Marlene) There ya are. Just as right as rain. (to Stanley) All right. Now, you.

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN OUT)

STANLEY: And as the strong arms of the old man lifted me up over the lip of the cellar wall, the last section of the floor below us fell away into the fire.

And, just as if a play or somethin' was over, the flames died down. First, they were yellow. Then, purple. And then they just went out.

Marlene grabbed my arm.

MARLENE: (distraught) Where did he go, Stanley? Where did he go?

STANLEY: I don't-- (calls out) Hey! Old man! Hey!

MARLENE: (whimpers) Stanley!

STANLEY: Come on, let's get out o' here. (cries out) What's this? Wh--?! Marlene!

MARLENE: What?

STANLEY: He didn't take the money! It's right here!

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN OUT)

STANLEY: And so I picked up the suitcase and Marlene and I hacked our way through all that underbrush back to the road.

We were just openin' the door to the car to get in, go away from Beezer's cellar, when there was sawed-off shotguns in our faces and lights. I could see the state cop's badge behind the light.

He laughed and said, "Come on, kids, we're goin' for a ride."

Ah, it's very comfortable here in the little iron room at Stateville.

And I hear that Marlene's all right, down there at the woman's prison at Dwight. She can stay there for twenty years.

Me? Well, I'm gonna move.

They got a tight little room here for people that get mixed up in murders.

Little room you can walk into but you can't walk out.

All modern conveniences.

Electricity and everything.

Well, the old fella said the wages of sin is death.

And I - I guess I'd rather be here than in Beezer's cellar.

I really am pretty grateful to the little old fella.

The little old fella with the six fingers on the hand that pulled me out.

(MUSIC...THEME...FADE FOR)

ANNOUNCER: The title of today's "Quiet, Please!" story is "Beezer's Cellar." It was written and directed by Wyllis Cooper, and the man who spoke to you was Ernest Chappell.

CHAPPELL: And Lotte Stavisky played Marlene. Warren Stevens was Pete. And the six-fingered old man was Charles Eggleston. As usual, music for "Quiet, Please!" is played by Albert Buhrmann. Now for a word about next week, Wyllis Cooper.

COOPER: Thank you for listening to "Quiet, Please!" Next week, I've a story for you called "And Jeannie Dreams of Me."

CHAPPELL: And so until next week at this same time, I am quietly yours, Ernest
Chappell.

(MUSIC ... THEME ... OUT)

ANNOUNCER: And now, a listening reminder. Today, "David Harding, Counterspy" is dedicated to "Employ the Physically Handicapped Week." Be sure to tune in. This is ABC, the American Broadcasting Company.

LOCAL ANNOUNCER: WJZ -- New York's first station. WJZ AM and FM.
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